I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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