she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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