Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
