I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
