I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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