Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
