Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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