If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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