i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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