Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
