I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
