We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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