I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
