I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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