No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
