I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
