You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
