I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
