I wish I could punch you in the face.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
