no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
