And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
