So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
