Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
