it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
