so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Success! We fucked roommates!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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