I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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