If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
