wrigley field is MILF paradise
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
