I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
