woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
