she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
