Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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