He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
