I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
