9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
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