it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
