I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
It's Friday. Sex?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
