someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
