So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
