about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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