it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
