So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
