Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
