Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
As shirtless as possible
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
