a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
