let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
