i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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