worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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