he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
