he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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