i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I have already put on my inside pants.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
