just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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